2019 was different for me for the worst and most definitely for the best reasons. It has been quite a journey to get where I am today and looking into the future, I believe I will never truly get ‘there’, wherever ‘there’ is supposed to be.
The story begins when I went on a hiking trip with my father to the West Coast of Scotland and subsequently contracted Lyme Disease. It was the 1st July 2018 and this event would go on to change the course of my life and my work.
Why Lyme Disease is concerning? Why it is increasingly important to find out what it is and what happens to people living with the condition? The disease could be an environmental indicator because as the Ticks habitat gets warmer Lyme Disease becomes more prevalent and more people are becoming sick. This is where we begin to realise, we are one, people and the land we live on. In a report by HSE.gov, there were 900 reported cases of Lyme disease in the UK between 2001-2012 but the reality could be many more cases, even as high as 2000. The Guardian commented on the medical records reported in the British Medical Journal, in their article ‘Incidence of Lyme Disease in the UK.’ Which asserts cases of Lyme Disease could top 8000 in 2019. Therefore, the urgency around global warming has far reaching consequences affect people in many ways making Lyme Disease a hidden epidemic.
On the 17th November 2019 I returned to the place I contracted Lyme disease; with my father we once again went hiking like free spirits who were free in thoughts. I had not been back in the mountains since July 1st due to contracting this illness which then left me quite disabled and forced me to give up a lot of the things I loved to do. This venture for me was much more than a hobby but more like something to conquer out of necessity, to regain my sense of self. November was rather an odd time of year to decide to hike around the West Coast, but when you have that feeling you just must fulfil it. The feeling of making peace with the land was like making the nervous reacquaintance of a long, lost friend. You aren’t sure how you feel about them because it has been so long since you last said hello, but you go because you are sad about how things were left between you. Maybe I can patch things up again.
This year I’ve been bitter, I’ve been scared, I’ve been sick, I’ve been sick of being sick, I’ve been liberated, I’ve been overpowered, I’ve been driven, I’ve been knocked down and I’ve been defeated, but mostly importantly I’ve gotten backup.
This trip back to Mallaig was one of acceptance and one of rediscovering oneself and one’s identity, or rather claiming it back. Travelling with my father was important because this was common ground in our relationship and a space for us to share our love for the land through the peace and quiet we so desperately seek in life. One piece of writing by Nan Sheppard in her book ‘the living Mountain” has really summed up the relationship my father and I have with the mountains and why it is important we go together;
‘This the presence of another person does not detract from, but enhances the silence, if the other is the right sort of hill companion. The perfect hill companion is the one whose identity is for the time being merged in that of the mountains, as you feel your own to be. Then such speech arises is a part of a common language and cannot be alien….’
On the same journey, but different paths.
During this tentative journey into recovering my fragile mind I wrote a piece of poetry. As I sat taking in the majestic views, drinking water and taking rest the words came to me in the calmness of these surroundings verse by verse
The Story of Hearing
Solemn Reflection,
Cuts and crevices
Faces and Scares
Peaks that sore.
It could happen to anyone I told myself,
But it happened to you the land told me.
I awed at you,
beauty you hold,
it’s like no other,
Beauty is in the eye of the be-holder the land told me.
I was mad at you,
Look at what you did to me,
I’ll never be the same I told myself.
No one said I did not invite you back to see what I have to give,
Solemnness that came was only to be miss-read as an opportunity
That no one else had the privilege of,
The land told me.
The gift of listening to oneself,
Listen to the courage, strength, hope.
Just like us mountains you too can be a pillar of all those things.
You just have to listen and believe it.
The land told me,
I heard everything
Yet nothing at all.
The message from my journey of re-self-discovery is, to not give up on yourself and to be kind to yourself and sometimes in life things happen that are out of your control, tests, but don’t let them define you or take over you.
In the series of images, I try to represent myself through the mountains,
The beauty in strength and the unapologetic power,
The softer side and the fragility in the frost in the morning.
References:
1) The Guardian, by Anna Ploszajski, Web article ‘UK Lyme Disease cases maybe three times higher than estimated.’ Wed 31 Jul 2019
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2019/jul/31/uk-lyme-disease-cases-may-be-three-times-higher-than-estimated
2) BMJ Journal, Web article ‘Infectious disease research: Incidence of Lyme Disease in the UK: a population-based cohort study.’
https://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/9/7/e025916.full
3) HSE (Health and safety executive),web article ‘Lyme Disease.’
https://www.hse.gov.uk/agriculture/zoonoses-data-sheets/lyme-disease.pdf
Images from the series are shown below (click to view image at full size / original format).
ABOUT ELIZA COULSON
Eliza is currently entering her final year of study at The Glasgow School of Art, specializing in Communication Design, Photography which has allowed her to explore her passion for the visual arts and photography. She originates from the Highlands of Scotland, way up in the small town of Nairn, which is where she gets her love for the outdoors. Only recently has she picked up her camera to focus on the landscape, growing up around this environment you can sometimes become complacent. From moving away, Eliza now has a new-found respect for her surroundings. Other than this she has a big interest in documentary photography and has found herself immersed in getting to know who she is photographing which she thoroughly enjoys and is hoping to incorporate moving images into this soon. Her biggest feat so far was winning the Scottish Portrait Young Photographer of the Year 2018, when she felt honored to be selected and definitely felt encouraged as a young photographer.
Website: ello.co/eliza_coulson
Instagram: @eliza_coulson
CREDITS
Unless otherwise stated, all words and images in this article are © Eliza Coulson
